diary 33 (april 15)

I wake up early (for me) most days and dusk takes forever to get to. I don’t ever feel like going out during the day or night, sometimes I feel so underwhelmed. I work in a big blue house with flowers along the door and hanging down from the porch cover, walk 2 miles to drink a tall beer in the afternoon and watch the plants change day to day in the yards on the way. I miss taking intrusive street shots of strangers and drunk friends and styled models I’m not sure if I like what’s left if it’s all that i’m making and not having the drive to do more. I watch the kids on my street shoot a soccer ball at a basketball stand without a net or hoop and say hi back to the little girls playing along the fences. I don’t feel lonely like I used to but I miss a lot.

diary 32 (march 15)

Last month I lost all of the photos that I took and didn't feel close enough to anyone at the time to really want to photograph them or something or anything, February is always a bad month anyway. I read the temperature of my room displayed on my space heater 42, 44, 49. This month I moved to Oregon on the other side of the country for a while. Shifted back to all of my belongings being full suitcases, traded winter for blooming trees. Listened to rain tapping my plastic hood and frogs in the quarry next to the house at night. I lay in bed with nothing much to do and look at the distilled water jar on the windowsill for the plants and linoleum floor. I feel very calm and empty-minded which is nice for now. Every beautiful place I went to I enjoyed very much but it was kinda like that quote 'he was pointing at the moon but i was looking at his hand', haha. The morning is all red light.

unvandalized

Girls becoming graffiti, shot in Brooklyn for Syn magazine

Hair and Makeup by Caroline Baribeau 

Styling by Mimi Kim

Models are Kseniya, Maryse, and Jessica at Re:Direct

diary 31 (january 15)

Didn't see daylight very much this month, kept to myself and tried not to be so worn out and down. Started crying for some reason as the man operating the train leans his head out as I'm standing outside the closed door and says four minutes. Waited patiently for it to be too cold to take walks and the sidewalk corners to become slush against the curbs. Brendon visited for a little while and it felt very nice. Kept having fever dreams where i'm telling people in my life inconsequential things etc and I have trouble figuring out if they actually happened. I don't remember but I feel alright.