Step outside on the fourth and listen to the rumbling, pretend i can see the sky light up beyond the cathedral trees. Mesmerized by the evening skies- red at the horizon and blue straight up. I try to soak in the city but most days feel like nothing days to me. The heat puts you in a daze here.
June was very nice, everything's working out just fine and I know I work for it to but I feel so lucky. Spent the first bit in Portland doing nothing much- even now it feels so far away. Went on a road trip to a clear and cold lake and to an abandoned town in the middle of nowhere midwest with my best friends. Camped in an unprepared way, stayed in a weird motel for a little, drove all night and for too long at once. The air smelled so nice at one point almost to the lake, the sunset light the night we arrived at the ghost town was something i had never seen light do before, don’t know how to explain it, got caught in a hail storm so bad i was sure the car windows would break. Packed everything I owned back up, moved home to New York City on a red eye flight with my boy, across the country again for the second time. My new room has big windows that face a lot of trees and I hear birds and the light comes in bright and hot in the morning. Walk in my neighborhood towards the sprinklers hanging under the fluorescents of a gas station that look like fly tape, walk down the streets I know so well in nolita again and feel comfortable. Parked Fire trucks' flashing lights illuminate people’s dinners sitting outside in alphabet city, there's a big cloud of smoke with the moon in the background in the sky beside, the temporary wall in front of the smoke source (a vacant plot) is spray painted with an arrow pointed up "not smoke or fire, only steam”. Feel exhausted again every day and excited most of the time. There are so many things happening to look at and every night I hear sirens, sometimes I hear them stop while they’re still loud.