diary 4 (october 12)

i’ve been working (on photos) a lot, or at least it feels like it but i know that i’m not really, maybe it’s that it’s becoming more of an effort. this month i pulled into myself,  more of a homebody, not much of one but more than usual. going to sleep at dawn and waking up a couple hours before dusk most days makes it difficult to be normal. every day is still different. a new experience or encounter or sight and all of that. i’m trying to think of the things i’ve done but i can’t figure out if they were two days ago or even this month or two or three months ago or never. i need to stop thinking “i’ll do it tomorrow”. the storefronts were all covered in spiderwebs and hanging ghouls, the tree- and walkup-lined neighborhood streets covered in fallen leaves. hurricane happened, the trains stopped and i felt like i was in an apocalypse in some places. i need to start remembering more about everything or stop trying so hard to. i’ve realized that i’m doing things i dreamed of but by now i’m used to it and it all feels normal, for some reason i didn’t ever think of that happening.