natalie kucken

diary 23 (may 14)



few hours into the month found something to feel scared about - haven't felt scared for a long time before then. thought of leaving- tried to find the restart button but couldn't. became obsessed with painting- just lines and color on white. falling back into being creepily drawn to the color blue and can feel why if i think about my evolving emotional state haha. i spent a lot of time alone in the late afternoons going to museums and all the spring activities in new york city. i quit my day job. very often i would still be trying to fall asleep and watching the light change through my window when my alarm would go off in the morning, i can't figure out what to do about that. went away to suburbs in virginia for a while and made sure to accomplish nothing. have been falling way way more in love with art but not with my own. wrote in my notes "you're drawing lines all over a blank piece of paper and thinking that you're connecting dots".




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3 comments:

  1. no point point in trying to connect the tangible with the intangible. keep drawing lines and making connections the way you want to. and always be blue if you want to. no1 else, tho.

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  2. i always love reading your blog :)

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