natalie kucken

diary 16 (october 13)

i mostly ignored the things i had to do this month, i keep ignoring people and places and thinking and the changes that happen or something. i talk to dozens or hundreds of people most days now. i take three olives out of my fourteen dollar salad four days a week. things have become very calculated i have to be here at this time, this is the time i will be home, this is when i will be finished with my photo work, pay this on this date take this out of this pocket. i shot in the suburbs and i made a studio in my cave of a living room. i made my shoelaces bright blue ribbon. this city has kind of fallen flat for me now that everything is perfectly in its place i’ve found a place for every moving part in my life and i always choose the quickest way from point a to b. have fallen asleep before 4 am maybe once or twice. got attached to the cotton hanging from my ceiling and the ballon that i wrote on and my blue sunlight lamp. my lungs are filled with eggs minus the shells. i went out or stayed in with people that i care about very often but i don’t remember or feel anything about those outings other than just knowing that they happened. i’ve been keeping tabs on certain interactions and thinking about them often, it’s funny how you forget tiny little infatuations can happen after not having any new ones for so long. anyway i only really want to curl up under my blankets.

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1 comment:

  1. after being to nyc and seeing a small slice of what you see, i just wanted to say i'm glad there's someone out there actually taking photos of real fucking shit out there. real fucking shit. though from what you wrote, i definitely saw that aspect you wrote about you, nyc can really turn people into people they aren't. make you not give two shits about a lot of things. make you numb. humanity starts to all blend together into a big crock pot of annoying shit if you let it. i'm not posting to try and give you advice or anything like that, i don't really know why i'm commenting mainly i just wanted to say i like you a lot even though you can be a bitch and i'm glad we met.